I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
