Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
