so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
