Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
