1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
