just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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