this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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