I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
