all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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