I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
