Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
