Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize