I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
