she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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