We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
