My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
