I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
