ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
