the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
