i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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