at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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