He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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