Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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