I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
