i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
