The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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