I met the friendliest cop last night
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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