Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
