Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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