i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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