What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
