I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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