I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize