sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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