Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
