I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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