is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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