A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
