We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
