I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
