I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
