found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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