please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
