her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
