she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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