Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize