I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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