I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
