so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
