I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
