it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
