Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
