you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
