Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
