he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
