Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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