You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
