We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
